Many of us have heard the saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” Well it seems that this concept isn't embraced as much as it use to be. Growing up I was certainly aware of the "village people" in my life. Most of these individuals were in my family. I come from a close knit family, where most of my days as a child were spent over a relative’s house. My cousins were my best friends and Granny’s house was my second home. I hated summer camps and preferred to spend my summer vacation running around the neighborhood with my cousins. Whenever we got into trouble, and we did often, my Granny would always find out about it. The neighbors all knew each other. If one of us did something wrong, the neighbor wouldn't hesitate to reprimand us and then walk down to my Granny’s house to tattle tell. As if that wasn't enough, once our parents came to pick us up we would be in trouble again. Although we despised those neighbors for telling on us, in a way it kept us in check.
We knew that even though our parents weren’t around, there was always someone watching us. This village not only disciplined the kids in the neighborhood, they also picked up your mail for you when you were out of town, welcomed the newcomers and let you know if something seemed “suspicious” while you were gone.
Today, we call these “villagers” nosy. I can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve actually had a conversation with one of my neighbors. Its not that I dislike them, I just tend to keep to myself. But a recent event made me wonder if this idea of just “keeping to yourself” is eliminating the village that was so valuable to our generation?
We had friends and family over for the 4th of July. The kids were outside playing, or so we thought. We later learned they thought it would be a good idea to throw rocks at a shed behind our house. Once we learned about it, we made them clean up the rocks and write an apology to the homeowners. But more shocking than the fact that the kids had behaved this way, was the revelation that one of my neighbors actually SEEN them throwing the rocks but didn’t come and tell us. His exact words when I asked why he hadn’t alerted us was, “well, I didn’t want to cause any tensions between us.”
Are you serious?!?! Have we gotten to a point that we just keep to ourselves rather than deal with uncomfortable situations? Do we no longer feel a sense of responsibility to care, or look out for, those in our community? If we don't care for our neighborhoods, or the people in it, why should we expect anyone else to?
“The work of community, love, reconciliation [and] restoration is the work we cannot leave up to politicians. This is the work we are all called to do. - Shane Claiborne”
Sure, everyone could just keep to themselves and worry about maintaining their "own grass." But when we come together to shoulder the responsibilities of our community, everyone benefits. One person can't do it alone. No longer can we only look out for ourselves. Instead, we must learn to foster relationships of support for those around us. We can't expect politicians and elected officials to care for our communities. No, that's our job. The work of community is what WE are all called to do.
So get out and talk to your neighbors, learn their names and start the conversation of how each of you can play your part in nurturing the spaces you call home.